Nobody ever wants to talk about miscarriage Or abortions but it happens and is a very hard thing to experience. Here are some suggestions to help getting through miscarriage or abortions.
You can chant akaal for the baby. Chanting akaal is what you do when someone dies, apparently helping release them from their worldly ties, and I have found it therapeutic to me energetically when I have chanted it for people I have lost over the years.
Also, you can have a ceremony or ritual (based on one in the Circle Round book (not Kundalini yoga). Our subconscious minds respond very well to ritual, and when you do it, it helps to let go of the baby.
Miscarriages are very very common but people feel uncomfortable talking about them, it’s the double whammy of being about death and being about babies dying. I am here to talk or listen for anybody who has a miscarriage. You will heal.
Abortions are never talked about but woman can also be losses in guilt & grief for the unborn child that was sacrificed. Pope Francis announced plans last week, as part of his Holy Year of Mercy, for easier absolution for women who have had abortions. Five seconds later, battle lines were drawn. Supporters hailed his graces, conservatives were cheesed off, and Catholic women everywhere exhaled—or at least they should have.
Many pro-choice activists seem to downplay the presence of trauma and the serious emotional, physical and spiritual toll of the abortion on a woman. This approach is not ill-conceived; rather it is aimed at protecting the inherent right that a woman has to choose what happens with her life and her body. There is an understandable sentiment that to admit to the devastating impact of an abortion on a woman’s well-being could undermine and threaten the support for choice.
We have an obligation to fully acknowledge and embrace women in the aftermath of abortions and miscarriages as they cope with the physical impact and the emotional turmoil, as they try to grapple with the possible causes for what happened. Denying the truth is doing a great disservice to those who live with the anguish, guilt and pain.
Be patient with your grieving, but do chant akaal sometime and do write in a journal , do art, do something symbolic like a little ritual with trusted friends (tuning in or opening the ceremony, setting up an alter, saying Goodbyes to baby, sharing your feelings of disappointment and feeling slighted by God or mother Nature, whatever feels natural, sing, chant, burn sage, etc, then tune out or close the ceremony.)
I would like to add something from the Teachings of Yogi Bhajan, he said every pregnancy, including miscarriage and abortion, take the same toll on a woman as a fullterm pregnancy and delivery.Recovering still takes the same amount of time. The pressure placed on the glandular system, nervous system, psyche and more, need to be taken into consideration. All of those have already shifted to sustain the new life. So even with an interrupted pregnancy, the body needs time to heal, and support to return to health and balance.
On recovering from pregnancy, I recommend ” The Gift of Giving Life ” (with suggestions like eating sauteed almonds and kitcheree, as well as refraining from strenuous yoga for a time) and Gurmukh’s book, ” Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful. ” Including daily meditation is important and uplifting music.
There are some really good herbs to use to help strengthen the reproductive organs and get the hormones back on track. The most well-known one is Red Raspberry Leaves. This contains large amounts of calcium, iron, and other nutrients needed for pregnancy and good health. It has a relaxing and strengthening effect on the uterus. I also like the herb Squaw Vine for its strengthening, toning, and hormone balancing effects.
I know that for most women the physical heals much more quickly than the emotional after a miscarriage. This is a good time to use Bach Flower Remedies to help speed emotional healing. Bach Flower Remedies are homeopathic preparations of flower petals which can help to open up the energy of the body and mind so emotional healing can happen more quickly and completely. Bach Flower Remedies need to be made specifically for each person since everyone has different issues that need to be worked through. Specifically, Star of Bethlehem can be used to ease the shock. Cherry Plum can be used if one’s mind is racing out of control. The deep despair, heartache, and depression can be eased by using Sweet Chestnut. Readjusting to life without baby can be made easier by using Walnut. Pine is used for feelings of guilt, the old ‘what did I do wrong to cause this?’. If there is a surrealistic feeling, like the miscarriage is just a bad dream, Clematis is the Bach flower to use. Honeysuckle is used when one is living in the ‘what might have been’ and is unable to accept what has happened and move on. Bitterness can be mediated with Willow, especially if there is resentment toward other women who are pregnant or have babies. Heather can resolve chronic, mind-filling, prolonged thoughts about the miscarriage. Holly is for anger and revenge and jealousy towards women who have children.
If you had a miscarriage but have still retained part of the tissue, here are some ideas to avoid having a d&c procedure.
Homeopathy. Both Sabina and Sepia are good for completing a miscarriage, not only does it help expel the tissue, it helps expel the grief.
Herbs. Black and Blue Cohosh. These are the same herbs you can help to induce a full term pregnancy. They are like a natural version of the hospital given Pitocin. Black and Blue Cohosh can be found homeopathically, and they are called Caulphyllum and Cimicifuga.
I honor you mama, on your healing journey and please know, you are not alone.